My turn
I've been wanting to post this for a few days but I figured I would let jennster start it off and I wasn't sure if she wanted it to be brought out in the open.
kids? Do we want another?
its a tough decision.
like jenn was saying we had a great talk about having kids and surprised each other that we were on the same page. Both of us are actually have to think if we want one or not. It is totally and emotional vs practical battle. the reasons for both are both selfish in there own ways.
let me start off by saying if I had a child with jenn it would be the most wonderful gift I could ask for. I think we would make some kick ass looking kids. At the same time it would be a welcome gift and a blessing, its not a requirement. I don't have to have one. Blake is here. I don't really feel like I need my "own" child. I want to treat Blake as my own. Frankly, the thought of another kid is stressful on the level of "will I treat my kid differently, will I like him more....." I don't even think that would come into play but it is still a valid fear I would be ignorant to ignore.
Probably the hardest part of being a step dad in my shoes is feeling like I have to ask permission to share the things that I enjoy. I'm getting into hunting and I like shooting. That's hard because jenn hates guns and I know she is freaked at the idea of Blake ever using one. But I want to be able to take Blake out and share that with him, something I would nearly demand if we had another child. I want to be able to let him see what he likes and if he wants to be apart of my interests that's awesome. But if its not for him that's perfectly fine. But I want to have the choice to do that. Thankfully me and jenn touched on this topic the other night and most of my fears are resolved.
on the practical side of things.........In 12 years Blake will be 18 and I will be 39........that's still young. Me and jenn could do all the things that we want to do at that point and still be physically able to. that's awesome to me. the thought of jet skiing off the coast of Italy sound pretty bad ass.
I also think that any prayer of owning a house that we could afford would be shot on another kid. It might be better for Blake to have parents that could afford to give him a great childhood (not that its a requirement). But letting him to be able to do things we couldn't do with another kid. By the time our kid would be 5 Blake would be 15. Its not like at this point the sibling is gonna make his childhood better or give him someone to play with. My brothers were 8 years older than me and by the time I was old enough to do stuff they have better things to do.
overall its a lot to take in. Its a lot to think about. We have time, that's for sure. Maybe our outlook will change. Maybe we will Need a baby. But right now I feel like I would be happy either way.
kids? Do we want another?
its a tough decision.
like jenn was saying we had a great talk about having kids and surprised each other that we were on the same page. Both of us are actually have to think if we want one or not. It is totally and emotional vs practical battle. the reasons for both are both selfish in there own ways.
let me start off by saying if I had a child with jenn it would be the most wonderful gift I could ask for. I think we would make some kick ass looking kids. At the same time it would be a welcome gift and a blessing, its not a requirement. I don't have to have one. Blake is here. I don't really feel like I need my "own" child. I want to treat Blake as my own. Frankly, the thought of another kid is stressful on the level of "will I treat my kid differently, will I like him more....." I don't even think that would come into play but it is still a valid fear I would be ignorant to ignore.
Probably the hardest part of being a step dad in my shoes is feeling like I have to ask permission to share the things that I enjoy. I'm getting into hunting and I like shooting. That's hard because jenn hates guns and I know she is freaked at the idea of Blake ever using one. But I want to be able to take Blake out and share that with him, something I would nearly demand if we had another child. I want to be able to let him see what he likes and if he wants to be apart of my interests that's awesome. But if its not for him that's perfectly fine. But I want to have the choice to do that. Thankfully me and jenn touched on this topic the other night and most of my fears are resolved.
on the practical side of things.........In 12 years Blake will be 18 and I will be 39........that's still young. Me and jenn could do all the things that we want to do at that point and still be physically able to. that's awesome to me. the thought of jet skiing off the coast of Italy sound pretty bad ass.
I also think that any prayer of owning a house that we could afford would be shot on another kid. It might be better for Blake to have parents that could afford to give him a great childhood (not that its a requirement). But letting him to be able to do things we couldn't do with another kid. By the time our kid would be 5 Blake would be 15. Its not like at this point the sibling is gonna make his childhood better or give him someone to play with. My brothers were 8 years older than me and by the time I was old enough to do stuff they have better things to do.
overall its a lot to take in. Its a lot to think about. We have time, that's for sure. Maybe our outlook will change. Maybe we will Need a baby. But right now I feel like I would be happy either way.
posted by point45 at 5:03 PM
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